Berner Alpen – Part 1

1994

In retrospect I have realized how indifferent I had become after the death of my father in early 1994, and what kind of risk I had been willing to take as a result. Gerhard Deigendesch from Munich and I met at the Märjelen Lake and hiked along the Aletschgletscher into the heart of the Bernese Alps, each of us carrying 66 lbs. In quick succession we climbed Mönch, Groß-Fiescherhorn and Finsteraarhorn, hiked back to the Mittelaletschgletscher and finished with an ascent of Aletschhorn.

After Gerhard had gone on to climb in the Valais Alps, I continued solo: Groß-Grünhorn (a very emotional experience, during which I felt very close to my father), then in bad visibility to the Ober-Mönchsjoch (including several unprotected jumps over crevasses – talk about indifference…), Hinter-Fiescherhorn – and as a crowning finale, a solo climb of the Jungfrau.

The last page of my diary from the trip spoke of “a breakthrough holiday”. It was a “concentration of experience” and my personal way of turning the mixed emotions and grief into positive, creative energy. Yet the certain fatalism with which I had gone into the trip gives it retrospectively, at least in part, the appearance of an act of desperation – a glimpse of the dark side of adventure.